Step 2: Change Course

For years, I chased a dream which did not come to fruition.  I chased the family I wanted since I was a child; a two parent home with my parents who loved me.  When the ex said he was leaving, he didn't want the marriage, all I could think of was the promise I made myself as a child.  "I will never divorce.  I will never do this to my children."  

Most of us know the statistics, children of divorce have marriages which usually end in divorce.  I was determine not to be a statistic.  As a teenager in high school I remember reading the statistics.  Seeing what some would see as my path of promiscuity, juvenile delinquency, unsuccessful relationships...I cried within and told myself I would not be a part of this statistic.  And I wasn't.  When the ex made the choice which was best for him I saw myself falling into this dark hole.  

For two and a half years I chased a marriage, a man, a family, a dream across the country 4 times.  The last time, my children and I lived in our van.  I drove across the country with nursing babies, in winter storms, with the ex cutting of my cell phone midway leaving me with no communication in the worse weather.  In faith for the funds to make the trip as he rationed out the funds as he saw fit.  BUT I was so determined.  I knew I had to go and there was NOTHING that would stop me.  Nothing anyone could say that would detour me.

I encountered hardship after hardship after hardship - believing in the dream I would give my children the home and family I never had.

  Believing, Knowing and Determined. 

 I have been told when I put my mind to something I accomplish it.  Even the seemingly impossible.  

What happened?

The divorce still happened.  He still married the woman from the affair.  My children and I lived homeless.  Right???

More happened than that.  It was in the journey.  The journey showed me my inner strength.  It showed me what I could do when I put my mind to it.  It showed me just how I could move mountains.  

Remember in the last post I said I believe there is Success in failure.  I may have a failed marriage however the success is all I learned from the experience which refined me. 

What would happen if I took all the energy, determination, belief, knowing...and put all that into my business? 

 I would be UNSTOPPABLE!

The course in my life has changed.  With it I take all the past failures which will aid in today's successes.   Today I choose and I change course.  Today I am inspired to take all the energy I had chasing one dream to truly succeed in an expanded dream. 

The success in the failure was all I learned in the journey.  

What have you learned in your failure?  Are you ready to change course, taking those failures and turning them into your success?

That's where it's at in my life.  

Today I am success!

~ Angela

                                              This is a video with part of my story...Enjoy!

Step 1: Make A Choice

Since my separation/divorce I have struggled.  Yes, struggled.  Struggled emotionally, struggled spiritually, struggled financially and struggled physically.  I'd wake up praying to find hope when the sky in my life seemed grey everyday.  I always found a reason to smile although my heart ached for something tangible which would truly "change" our life.

When I stopped asking why things had to be the way the were I asked, "Will I ever get ahead?"  I was so close to depression and despair so many times.   I just chose not to go there.  I decided I would find a reason to smile amidst adversity.  And I smiled.  I smiled not knowing I was smiling.

For nearly three months my children and I lived in our minivan.  Yes!  I lived in a three door Chrysler Town and Country MiniVan with my 9, 8, 6, 3 and 6month old children.  In what appeared to be the worse situation.  When my concerns weren't just, "What will I make for dinner?"  but "How will I make dinner?"  "How will we shower today?"

The homeless journey taught me something profound.  Or at least I think is profound.  I learned my emotional being was homeless before my physical being.  I learned the relationship between what we experience emotionally and what we later manifest into our reality.  Just this bit of knowledge awaken me to begin again to re-envision my life.

The ex-husband was never coming back.  The dream of co-parenting in this season was unrealistic.  And I had to change my thoughts from seeing a broken family to seeing a whole family.  I had to chose to be thankful and find the "ah hah" moments in each phase of our transition.

I wish I could say I found the "life-changing" thing that would catapult us forward.  Like a lottery win or the birth of a multi-million dollar business which took off instantly.  That's not the case, BUT who says those things won't happen.

I am a strong believer in, "What we think about, we bring about."  I chose to live in the possibilities of impossible.  I also believe there is success in failure.  

Someway, somehow I have made the choice to not give up, though my situation appears a struggle constantly I KNOW, things are in fact better and they keep getting better and better!

In this blog I will share my journey.  The journey of a single mother of five choosing to not give up on her dreams.  Choosing to change the limitations of a single mother and surpass the box so I can stay home with my children and nurture them while at the same time earning a substantial income to provide for my family.  Can it be done?  Many, Many, Many say it can't be done.  They believe it's impossible.  AGAIN, I believe in the POSSIBILITIES of imPOSSIBLE.

I CHOSE TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

What choice will you make today?

Watch my journey.  See if a struggling single mother can actually make a turnaround out of poverty while giving her children the same loving care as a two parent household.

~ Angela