Since my separation/divorce I have struggled. Yes, struggled. Struggled emotionally, struggled spiritually, struggled financially and struggled physically. I'd wake up praying to find hope when the sky in my life seemed grey everyday. I always found a reason to smile although my heart ached for something tangible which would truly "change" our life.
When I stopped asking why things had to be the way the were I asked, "Will I ever get ahead?" I was so close to depression and despair so many times. I just chose not to go there. I decided I would find a reason to smile amidst adversity. And I smiled. I smiled not knowing I was smiling.
For nearly three months my children and I lived in our minivan. Yes! I lived in a three door Chrysler Town and Country MiniVan with my 9, 8, 6, 3 and 6month old children. In what appeared to be the worse situation. When my concerns weren't just, "What will I make for dinner?" but "How will I make dinner?" "How will we shower today?"
The homeless journey taught me something profound. Or at least I think is profound. I learned my emotional being was homeless before my physical being. I learned the relationship between what we experience emotionally and what we later manifest into our reality. Just this bit of knowledge awaken me to begin again to re-envision my life.
The ex-husband was never coming back. The dream of co-parenting in this season was unrealistic. And I had to change my thoughts from seeing a broken family to seeing a whole family. I had to chose to be thankful and find the "ah hah" moments in each phase of our transition.
I wish I could say I found the "life-changing" thing that would catapult us forward. Like a lottery win or the birth of a multi-million dollar business which took off instantly. That's not the case, BUT who says those things won't happen.
I am a strong believer in, "What we think about, we bring about." I chose to live in the possibilities of impossible. I also believe there is success in failure.
Someway, somehow I have made the choice to not give up, though my situation appears a struggle constantly I KNOW, things are in fact better and they keep getting better and better!
In this blog I will share my journey. The journey of a single mother of five choosing to not give up on her dreams. Choosing to change the limitations of a single mother and surpass the box so I can stay home with my children and nurture them while at the same time earning a substantial income to provide for my family. Can it be done? Many, Many, Many say it can't be done. They believe it's impossible. AGAIN, I believe in the POSSIBILITIES of imPOSSIBLE.
I CHOSE TO CHANGE MY LIFE.
What choice will you make today?
Watch my journey. See if a struggling single mother can actually make a turnaround out of poverty while giving her children the same loving care as a two parent household.
~ Angela
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